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The Career that Wasn't

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When I was an undergraduate, my goal was to teach high school photography, yearbook, and newspaper. If I could undo the last 27 years of my career... I would. In a heartbeat. Accepting a job that seemed right changed my life and took me away from that path.

Instead, I ended up trying to make my skills work, somehow, from job to job. But, I always long to be back at the high school, teaching photography and media arts.

The disappointment in myself doesn't fade. I should have made that lousy (abusive) job work long enough to clear my credential and do what I wanted.

So, I went after the MA, Ph.D, and MFA all with the goal of teaching full-time. I've had one full-time, tenure-track post, and it was as bad as the high school job that I left.

It's my social skills, or lack thereof. It's the way colleagues (especially supervisors) run over me and get me to do their work. It's many things. Too many.

All I wanted to do in life was teach and write.

At best, I'll be writing away in my basement, hoping to make something happen.

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